In fact, this image may not truly reflect what is inside the box. Of course, it does not mean the opposite as a whole, but it is also doubtful to say it is good as a whole.
It is commendable that they do behave well in foreign countries and it is the right attitude to give respect to your own identity and your own country. Supplement to the linguistic definition, manner should be seen as a behaviour to show your respect to others as well. Simply say, it is a way to do good to others, make others feel comfortable and pleasant.
In this country there are whole lots of rule books and guidelines of manner, but most of them go against the genuine principle of respecting others or from its fundamental there is not consideration of respect but just an act of manner, or a way that you should behave. Say,
- you need to serve tea to your customers after they sit down for how many minutes.
- you need to split your disposable chopsticks horizontally/ vertically in different situations.
- cover the cover of your book with non-transparent paper.
- you need to place people's name cards on the table for how many minutes.
- Endless bows at any elevator hall.
- Order of getting on a taxi/ in an elevator/ in a restaurant; position in a taxi/ elevator/ at a table; person to place order/ operate the elevator.
These rules articulate what you should treat others in detail, some are derived from their culture and some are not quite understandable in foreigners' eyes. Yet, you may still argue that these are related to how to treat people in a proper way. Think further, who would mind if you serve tea in 2 minutes or 3 minutes? Or would you mind someone places your name card on the table for 4 minutes 32 seconds rather than 4 minutes?
Well, I do mind and feel uneasy to pass through so many bows whenever I am in the elevator hall, which always make me feel as if I were in a sorrowful funeral.
I believe acting genuinely in a considerable way is more important than acting by rules of trying 'make people think you are a polite man.' Being fake, is turning you to the opposite of politeness; as well as twisting the idea of well-mannered from 'to others' to 'as myself'.
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Usually a group of people who are granted with the title of well-mannered would take the sword of judge, condemning this as impolite or defining that as inappropriate. I always see people saying 'this is impolite.'
Let's see in fact what the judges are doing:
- brutal push on trains is beyond doubt to be mentioned.
- over emphasizing on social ranking and never be responsive to any greetings from younger people.
- stare at you with an monstrous eyes when you speak on phones with any foreign languages but English, you are under monitored until you disappear from their sight.
- shocked at your skin colour or even openly mock you, by saying you are a chimpanzee.
I may not be in the position to judge whether the above are contemptible, but it is inarguable that all these are not the proper way to give respect to others. So where comes the say of well-mannered?
How pathetic and ironic.
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Oh one thing, queuing up. It’s famous and it is a typical example to demonstrate how polite they are. But what is the rationale behind this social behaviour?
"It is not to respect the people in front of you, but just to reserve your own right from those who are behind you."
FYI. They even queue in a swimming pool. Yes, in the water.
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