Dear Mr Otaku,
I used not to talk about anything sentimental, as it's too heavy to review. Always mourning for the so-called bitterness will drive away people. I don't want to be a man of complaints.
But I do really need some air, a retreat that provides me with some space to rest, or to hide. I felt like my nerve was breaking down last night.
Look, it is a life that's much better than many. Technically speaking who can have a better profile than that? I can complain no more. Am I in a the position to say, "Hey, that are all what I am not looking for," I would probably be jeered.
What am I looking for then? And what am I doing to realize it?
I am doing nothing. I dare not. Cowardice. The shadow, I blame it.
Outside the door I am trying to act the best; I am a happy and better man (though dull); however inside the thick armour, there still hide the weakest flesh that I am reluctant to reveal. Once I gave it out, but it told me it was hurt.
Never deny that I always pray for companionship. But I also remind myself. The best is planned for me. Who knows it's not a better plan to put me alone, just see what had happened to you. Oh yes, so why I am still looking for that?
Nonetheless, it's never easy to make peace with the dilemma in heart.
Killing myself is not a solution, after all my christian faith maintains me alive. So far as I live on, the best is to come, at least there's such a belief no matter how it's going to happen, or is it going to happen.
That's what I try to convince over the evil thought as once my faith dropped to the weakest point. It didn't feel good. Couldn't cry out loud but something is corrupting from inside.
Giving up is a coward, taking the challenge to move on is braver.
Am I able to do so? For how long my faith can protect me until I break again?
Save me.
Thanks for listening.
From a desperate man/ a better man
3 comments:
Man, try the followings:
1. Piano
2. A Big Meal
3. New hair cut (though you have to grow some hair before trying this option)
4. 2-days one-man trip during weekend to countryside near Tokyo
5. AV (haha)
ok, i will tell that guy whom I am counseling to try all your options. Thanks~
wait...AV??
Every person has something to hide.
Some do this, because of fear being
hurt, if they reveal their true self
too much to others.
But the opposite is true.
If you are really open to yourself and others, then you will really start to live. I cannot tell you what the feeling is about. You have to do it in order to find out.
David Lee
Don't be sad and lonely.
http://www.team-cahaya.com
Post a Comment